The Best of Late Night

Yesterday at a big campaign rally, Sarah Palin drew a crowd of 60,000 people. After hearing about it, Joe Biden got new glasses and a boob job. -Conan O'Brien John McCain wants to postpone Friday’s presidential debate. And, he has temporarily suspended his campaign . . . until he’s ahead in the polls. Right after he announced that, Sarah Palin said, "That’s OK - I don’t really need him, anyway." -Jay Leno Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech on the economic crisis. The title of Bush's speech: "Two More Months and It Ain't My Problem." -Conan O'Brien Clay Aiken is on the cover of People magazine announcing that he’s gay. This on the heels of last week’s People shocking cover: Ruben Studdard announced he’s black. -Jimmy Kimmel More bad news today, from President Bush: Remember those rebate checks from a few months ago? He wants them back. -Jay Leno Don Rickles and Kathy Griffin presented an award last night. It’s great to see that grizzled old timer still get the laughs. And Rickles is funny, too. -Craig Ferguson Barack Obama said today that the $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. He said that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fundraisers to come up with that kind of money. -Jay Leno The past several days, President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout, and today a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Bush got upset and said, "Why does everyone always spell in front of me?" -Conan O'Brien Autumn arrived on schedule . . . at least there’s one thing Bush hasn’t screwed up. -David Letterman Sarah Palin was in New York meeting foreign leaders at the U.N. Assembly. She was very impressed with all the landmarks in New York City. As she was driving over the Hudson River, she said, "Wow - your bridges actually go somewhere." -Jay Leno All these world leaders, while they are in New York City attending the General Assembly, are doing some shopping. The Japanese premier, for example, got a great deal on Morgan Stanley. -David Letterman Bill Clinton was on "The View" yesterday. It was a frustrating appearance for Clinton - it turns out the pretty one is a conservative. -Jay Leno