The Best of Late Night

Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby at JFK airport. People at JFK were shocked because it was the first time in years they have seen an on-time arrival. -Conan O'Brien In an article in The Washington Post, medical experts say Joe Biden may have had Botox. You know how they could tell? His expression didn’t change when they asked him about his hair plugs. -Jay Leno Josh Brolin, who plays President Bush in the new movie “W.,” says at first he wasn’t sure he should take the role, because it would be such an acting challenge. Brolin says he prepared for the role by getting up every day, running five miles, and then bashing himself in the head with a hammer. -Conan O'Brien Tonight was the very last presidential debate . . . which means prayer does work. -Jay Leno Two big wildfires are burning in California. Emergency teams are trying to contain the fire. They are trying to drive them to homes that have already been foreclosed on. -Jimmy Kimmel A group linked to Democrats is now being investigated because they’ve been accused of falsifying voter registration forms, including one for Mickey Mouse. President Bush was furious when he heard this, because he thought Mickey Mouse was a Republican. -Conan O'Brien Today is Columbus Day, which is why all the banks are closed. At least I think that’s why all the banks are closed . . . -Jay Leno In a new interview, Nicole Richie said she has no plans to get married, but it could happen eventually. Then Richie said the same thing about lunch. -Conan O'Brien Well, the market went down over 700 points today. Oh, that reminds me. You know, we turn our clocks back soon. We're turning it back to 1929, I believe. -Jay Leno This economy is crazy. Are you with me on that one? This is what I saw today. I saw a Lehman Brothers executive walking around town wearing a sign that read, 'Will work for a seven-figure bonus.' -David Letterman